Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize