Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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