I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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