margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
this just has baby written all over it
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
There are leaves in my underwear?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
