there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
