Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
