Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize