i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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