You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
