better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
