Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize