I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
