if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Boobs are out for the taking
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
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