I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
