69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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