Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
