Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
