found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
