I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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