i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
