I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize