You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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