Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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