can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
