Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
