i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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