its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
