I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize