and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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