There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
