I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
They are going to name an STD after you.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
