My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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