I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
