So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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