She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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