Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My feet surprised me
Randomize
