Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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