i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
