No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
