We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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