I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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