Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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