You made me cry and you don't even care
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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