It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
