Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
