dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize