My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
