WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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