Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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