you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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