I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
