Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
