I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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