About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
