fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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