Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
