honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
