I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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