No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
