i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize