Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So many bounce houses so little time
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
