wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
