And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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